Caleb's story
by pappayaa
Summary: how did Caleb feel on choosing ceremony day, he always knew what he was going to pick but how does he feel about losing his family?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey so this is my first story, so please review honestly :)**

**disclaimer: I don't own divergent or any of the character**

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I stand up to let the candor man take my seat. I mentally sigh. I divert my thoughts by looking at the trees zooming by us. I feel Beatrice's gaze burning through me, like acid, it's melting me, but I don't dare meet her eyes. _goodbye Beatrice._ the farewell hangs unsaid between us. I silently make a list of people I also didn't say goodbye too. _Goodbye mother, goodbye father. Goodbye Susan, goodbye Robert. Goodbye Abnegation. _today I leave them all without warning, they will be left with nothing but the vague memory of my crimson blood dripping in the clear erudite water. I feel heat prickling at the back of my eyeballs. I quickly close my eyes. for years I have been teaching myself the art of masking your emotions and that's what I need to do today.

My body jerks backwards as the bus stops marking our destination. the other passengers press me forward until I'm off the bus. I turn around and see a blond head following me. I feel a bang of guilt, like a heavy stone drop into my stomach. out of all people I will miss her the most. I can see her decision being thought over in her head. I can feel her uncertainty like it's an aura glowing from her tiny body. I know she battling within herself right now, and i fear that abnegation is losing in her mind. If we both leave, what will our parents do? I quickly discard the thought. her fingers circle my arm as we reach the front steps. _We must also think of ourselves. _Stupid, I mentally scold myself, I should've told her more. I'm a terrible brother.

As predicted, the elevator is already swarming with people, without a second's hesitation my father starts ascending the stairs. my family and the rest of abnegation follow him. the sight warms my heart. it makes want to freeze time and save this moment. but of course I can't. I feel Beatrice's heavy breathing on my back, and I can tell in that moment that she was not made for this life. I once again find myself being pressed forward by a swarm of people, who I won't be able to call my faction any more. But maybe this is life being forcefully pushed to your life making decision and then trying not to think if you made the right choice or not.

I stand on the edge with the other sixteen year olds. I look around my eyes meeting pale faces and shaking hands. at the centre the metal bowls stare at me mockingly, teasing me, reminding me of how i plan to betray everyone I love today. I stare back at the bowl with the greyish stones, and then at the one with the clear water. my decision is easy. I feel pressure on my shoulder and look up to see father giving me a grin that spreads to his eyes. I involuntarily wince and pray that no one noticed.

"See you soon." he reassures as if he has no doubt on that matter. when mother hugs Beatrice she clenches her jaw, and stares at the ceiling. the fight inside her must be killing her. I take her hand and squeeze hard. I close my eyes and mentally pour my goodbyes. I clutch her hand as if I'm clutching on for dear life. _this might very well be the last time you ever hold her hand Caleb_. we don't say anything we wait silently, our intentions creating a barrier between us. I remember when I was eight when we were learning about faction manifestos. I read the erudite one and just like that my fate was decided. _Ignorance is defined not as stupidity but as lack of knowledge. Lack of knowledge inevitable leads to disconnect among people with differences. Lack of understanding leads to a disconnect among people with differences. Disconnection among people with differences leads to conflict. Knowledge is the only logical solution to the problem of conflict. Therefore, we propose that in order to eliminate conflict, we must eliminate the disconnect among those with differences by correcting the lack of understanding that arises from ignorance with knowledge. _I silently quote the manifesto in my head, over and over until the words become jumbled and it loses all meaning. I remember waking up from my aptitude test and the dark chubby candor female face staring down at my pale and skinny one.

"congratulations!" she had exclaimed. " your result was erudite, good luck on your choosing ceremony" her happy words lacked enthusiasm.

"Welcome," Marcus starts. " welcome to the choosing ceremony. welcome to the day we honour the democratic philosophy of our ancestors, which tells us that every man has the right to choose his own way in this world." my throat tightens as Beatrice squeezes my fingers harder. Marcus dives into the speech that has become worn out from being repeated every year. My eyes wander to the water filled bowl again. _I am smart._

Marcus starts to call out names. I ignore the teens stumbling into their new lives. I focus on breathing.

"Caleb Prior," it takes me a minute to realise that my name has been called out. I squeeze Beatrice's hand for the last time, and look back at her as I walk away to my destiny. _Goodbye, I love you. _Surprisingly my hands are steady when I accept the knife from Marcus. I slide the knife down my palm and watch the blood pooling in my hand. I'm too numbed by what I'm about to do to feel the sting of my freshly cut wound. _Breath. _then without turning back I hover my hand above the clear erudite water. I admire the colour of my blood as it turns lighter and gradually mixing with the water to create a fuchsia pink like colour. I hear murmurs from the adults and the last thing I remember are my father's eyes burning with rage and betrayal.

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**tell me in the reviews if i should keep going with the story or if i should keep it as a one shot :)**


	2. Chapter 2

My father's gaze pierces me like a million tiny knives. I look up up only to be met by his angry eyes. I shift my gaze to my mother, she purses her lips and look and the ground with her hands clasped in front of her. My stomach churns and I feel my heartbeat in my fingertips. What's done is done, I can't go back now. I look at Beatrice, panicked is an understatement of what she look like now. An invisible hand punches my chest. _I'm sorry_. but no one hears my apology.

"Excuse me," Marcus responds to the mutters that come as an aftermath of my betrayal. I look around, no one hears him. The erudite wear smug smiles and whisper to each other looking at my former faction. "Quiet, please!" Marcus roars not bothering with the abnegation manners this time. "Beatrice prior."

Beatrice looks at Marcus wide-eyed. She unhurriedly walks forward as if being propelled by an unknown force. Her eyes land on me. I slightly nod to her. _It's okay_, I want to tell her. Her footstep falters. She hesitantly accepts Marcus' knife. She stands between the stones and the coals. She cuts her palm, gritting her teeth while doing so. She thrusts her arm out between the two bowls. And then I see it, the glint in her eyes telling me that she won't chose abnegation. Her hand shifts and her blood sizzles. The sound makes me uncomfortable. I feel numb, I didn't except her to stay in abnegation, but I did not think in a million years that she would be dauntless. I should have paid attention to all the times she bent the rules, to the times when we were kids and she run down the street and I would scold her. I should've known. I wonder if she's thinking the same thing about me.

When the ceremony is over, the dauntless start to file out. I try to steal a glimpse at Beatrice but all I are the faceless tattooed bodies.

"I've never heard of an abnegation transferring to Erudite before," declares a deep voice behind me. "I'm Chris" he thrusts his hands out. I'm surprised by the gesture but I remember reading that candor greet each other by shaking hands. I'm not familiar with physical contact, abnegation told us that physical contact is powerful.

"Caleb," I say giving his hand a squeeze, but I think I might have let go too fast. After the dauntless leave we file for the elevator. My abnegation wired mind scolds me for taking the elevator while other people wait. i shake my head as if to get rid of the abnegation in me.

"So why did you transfer?" questions Chris when we find seats at the back of the bus. i rack my brain for an answer. I can't say i was selfish because that's not completely true. "I was too curios. I didn't like that i was deprived of knowledge, so I left" I say monotonely, masking my emotions for what feels like the millionth time today. "and you?"

He looks out the window, biting the inside of his cheek. I want to tell him to stop because it's hazardous, and he could develop a callous on the inside of his mouth, but I keep quite. "The candor were too arrogant, they spoke what's on their minds without facts to support them."

We sit in comfortable silence and somewhere during the bus ride I drift asleep, my dreams are filled with grey and blue.

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**so i promised myself that i wouldn't be that girl that freaks out over a couple of reviews but i might have... slightly :) anyway thanks guys keep the positivity coming :***


	3. Chapter 3

In my dream, I am invisible. Blue and grey people pass through me as if I'm nothing but thin air. At first it was random abnegation who instead of bowing their heads passed by. Then the erudite showed up. Then my father stops in front of me with hurt covering his eyes. At last it's Beatrice. But she's different. Instead of wearing grey like I'm used to seeing her she wears black. She grins with excitement in her eyes. My shoulders start to shake uncontrollably, I start to think that this is my punishment for betraying my family, but then I realise that someone is shaking my shoulders.

"Caleb?" The mysterious voice questions. I open my eyes expecting to see grey walls but instead I see seats and people. "we're at erudite headquarters" I look to my right expecting to see Beatrice but my face falls with disappointment as I see Chris. I peer out the clear fragile glass. My jaw drops slightly, the buildings i look at now are much larger and are made out of stone, but nothing compares to the gem in the middle. An enormous skyscraper made entirely of of glass stands tall and proud. The room we walk in is so immense that I have to angle my head back to get a full view. I look at a portrait of Jeannie Matthews, a women that my brain was trained to hate since day one. I have always stealthily admired her use of words to make sound so full of conviction.

I detect a low whistle beside my left ear. I turn my head to see Chris again. "Yeah." is the only replay he gets from me. hear someone clear their throat behind us.

"Welcome, initiates and transfers. I should assume that you all know my name since you chose our faction over your own, but for the minor case who don't, my name's Jeanine Matthews, but you may address me by Miss Matthews. I'm the current leader of erudite and I will be overlooking your initiation process." Her eyes scan each one of us, measuring us, calculating our abilities. But when her eyes land on me they linger. She narrows her eyes. "You are Andrew Prior's son, correct?" I try to swallow but my throat feels like sandpaper. I nod since I don't trust my voice right now. She grins wickedly and strides towards me, locking me in her icy stare. "I guess I'll be keeping a close eye on you, Mr. prior."

"It's Caleb," I correct her surprised by the confidence in my voice.

"Excuse me?" She questions

"My name is Caleb," I try to mirror the coldness in her eyes, but I'm sure I look atrocious trying, so i still with an emotionless stare.

"Indeed it is." She slowly backs away from me and looks at the rest of the group. "I assume you guys would want to settle in so I will leave you with your guide here Kate. I expect you all to be ready at 8 am sharp to get your first assignment." and with that she leaves the room.

"Transfers come this way please" she guides us through a maze of corridors. They tangle together like bushes. I lose count after the first ten. We stop so suddenly I bump into the transfer in front of me. " This will be where you sleep for the next week, so I suggest you make yourself as comfortable as possible." She sounds bored. We walk in and the first thing I notice is the huge deep blue eye imprinted on the middle of the floor. I recognise it as the Erudite faction symbol. The eye watches me as I settle in to my bed. After a few hours I decide that sleep is not coming. I walk out the dorm intending to get some food.

"I needed you to write an article about the recent pair of siblings that transferred from abnegation today." The voice is shrill yet arctic. _Jeanine. _" I want an interviewer sent on my behalf to the dauntless compound getting as much information as to why young Beatrice would transfer."


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry guys, no I'm not dead. But I have been so caught up on school work and I had a few problems with not letting me log in.**

I open my eyes to be greeted by the intense, glowing, cobalt blue. My heart flutters and I scowled myself for once again missing the grim colour that filled my past life. I stare at the eye on the floor. This is the life I chose, a life filled with craving for knowledge and curiosity. A smile sneaks its way across my lips. _I finally left_. This is the only thought I can muster.

I swing my long legs over the side of the bed. My toes curl as soon as they brush the icy tiles. I look down on myself to be meted by grey. My breath hitches and I remember that I haven't changed out of my abnegation clothing. My legs carry me across the room. I tense up when I see movement in my peripheral vision. I cautiously turn my head. I see a glass reflecting a face back at me. I quickly avert my eyes scolding myself. Then I'm even more frustrated because no matter how hard I try my abnegation traits still follow me.

I look up and see my mother's green looking back at me. The face has my father's hooked nose and dark hair. But I feel distant like I'm not looking at my reflection. I am part of another dimension, I don't hear anything around me, nor do I see the people walking past me giving me bizarre looks. Part of me is waiting for an adult to walk in and reprimand me for staring at my reflection for this long. My fingers left without me telling them to. They brush the mirror's even surface. The figure moves with me, but I feel numb. I look back into its eyes and flash my dimples. I let my arm fall back to my side. My senses catch up with me and my ears are suddenly filled with the sound of drawers sliding out and the rustling of paper marking out the morning readers. I look down and move away before I am tempted to sneak another look.

"This morning you will be taking an IQ test so we can access your brain abilities," Jeanine lectures, "Over the course of the week you will be attending lectures that will educate you in subjects such as Literature, Science, Languages, Computing and so on. I should hope that you do not fail to attend these lessons as you will be tested at the end of your initiation process to see what job will be your best fit."

Her eyes scan us again. Her stare lingers on me and I hold her gaze. I realise that shooting her glares won't tell her that I know what she's trying to do but it's the best I have.

We are sitting in another room filled with computers. I have never touched one before let alone used it. I saw them occasionally at school, but abnegation disliked them as they can suffice fine with pencil and paper.

I brush my sweep my fingers across the plastic body of the mouse. I look at this bright screen and start the test. Jeanine circles us like caged animals. She lingers behind each computer memorising our progress. I hear her slow breath when she walks past.

I look at the food in the cafeteria. I have never tasted anything except the dry chicken breasts that we ate in abnegation. In erudite we are encouraged to eat food that will induce your brain power. I end up getting salmon and brown rice. I carry my plate to my seat next to Chris.

"Hi," I greet him, I look up to see him reading a book about technology. He mumbles a replay which I can only assume is some form of greeting. I allow my mind to wander to the people I miss. I think to Susan. I was my happiest around her. Even though abnegation limited us to polite talk and small jokes on the way home from school, I have felt a connection towards her.

"Sorry what?" I say realising that I let my mind has drifted too far, and Chris was speaking to me.

"I said that girl is drooling at you," He nods his head two tables down. I look at a girl with dark hair and blue eyes. She averts her eyes and a flood of crimson washes over her cheeks. A laugh bubbles in my throat. Beatrice told me once that if I wasn't abnegation girl would have looking at me. I never believed her. That girl is pretty but she is dull compared to Susan.

"You should talk to her," Chris snaps me out of my daze, "I think her name is Fiona"

I shake my head dismissing him of the possibility of me ever talking to a girl. I have only been here a day and already I feel like being far away from abnegation, maybe further than I would like at this point. It is as if I had stepped into a violent current and now I am being violently drifting into the unknown blue with the only familiar territory miles away.

**GUYS I need people to grief with me over the allegiant ending please pm we'll cry together ;( **


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